Man is a giddy thing...

It's been a good week.

I've had to laugh at myself a couple of times. Let's make a list, shall we?

1. I did the dishes--all of them. Now, I know this seems like a menial task, and it is. There's something about it though. The idea of washing dishes really makes me dread going into the kitchen, but once I start and I put the first clean pot on the towel to dry it just feels so purifying. It gives me time to stop thinking about all of the other things that are distracting me and allows me to get right to the heart of me. That personal reflection time is good for my introverted self.

2. On Tuesday, I just couldn't get away from all of the distractions--the tangible ones like the TV and my computer. Do you ever feel that way? Like technology is strapping you down and making you waste time and sucking away your productivity? I do. And it's everywhere. I needed to get some writing, and I wanted to--I needed to unplug and just be with the pen and paper for a while. So...I decided that I was going to soak my feet in the tub. I basically moved my "office" (I don't have an office, who am I kidding?) into the bathroom. For obvious reasons, my computer can't sit with me on the edge of the tub. My iPod did come with me though so I could play some music with its small speaker and cut the silence. It was a strange thing, going to the bathroom to get away from all of the distractions. I just wish it was more comfortable to sit on the edge of the tub....

3. We're having a garage sale! I have a lot of stuff (and a good part of it can just go away). About every summer I try to do a deep clean of my room...Last summer I got about half way done and gave up. So, now with a garage sale date in mind, I've been begun the purge again. I went through my dresser yesterday...and I threw away a multitude of old socks and underpants. Seriously, why do we (maybe it's just me, but I doubt it) horde old socks? It's not like we wear them...they just take up space while the elastic really gets bad. The same with old underpants. Seriously, what do we think is going to happen to them? There isn't a fairy that comes and takes those things away like the tooth fairy...they just sit in the drawers. And most of them don't have pairs anymore either. That's just sad, put them out of their misery.

4. Last night, Daddy came into my room to see the progress...and his one comment was, "You have a lot of stuff...and you've hit your limit for bookshelves in this space." How very true. Three large bookshelves take up a lot of room. My response was, "I have enough stuff for an apartment." I really do...and the idea that "a place of my own" might be in the cards in the next year or so is really exciting. I mean, words cannot describe how fantastic that would be. Granted, I would miss eating with the folks because they do food really well...but I would really like not having to retreat to the bathroom to get some alone time to write.

5. Writing Workshop on Wednesday was wonderful. (Do you like all those w's? I do.) I knew this was going to be different then any writing experience I have had. How did I know this? Because my cousin is part of the group, and I knew she would be asking hard questions about my story. Questions with answers I had never articulated to another person. I also knew that she was going to make me really get into the grit of it--she's a teacher after all. She's used to pushing people to get good stories. This week was no exception. There were a lot of questions, and that is partly because we're getting to the meat of this story. These young women that I'm working with are truly inspirational. I love reading what they've done and sharing with them what I have. Rachel and Kaitlin have been a blessing to me this summer, more than I had anticipated...and I hope that this writing relationship will continue.

6. Rachel asked me how much I thought I would post here...I told her I was hoping for twice a week. Ha. We'll see. So far I'm not doing so hot, but I'll get there. I'm just warming up.

7. I marked all the wedding dates in my calendar, the ones that I have so far. Holy weddings, yo. Every day I get more and more behind my peers in the relationship/wedding/baby scene.... But mostly I'm okay with this. I'm not ready for all of that just yet. There are a lot of things I need to get done independently before all of that happens. Funny how our perceptions of ourselves change.

"The one who's always, and never, alone...does she even know she's the girl with the red balloon?" [The Civil Wars]

A whole new world...

There is nothing romantic about this post, don't let the title deceive you.

This is something far stranger. Something I didn't think would ever happen. But it has. And I feel inclined with those here to share it. Yes.

I have had a YouTube account for some time now. Mostly, I just favorite videos so I can watch them whenever I want without having to go through a search process. Today, that changed.

My brother and I have been toying with the idea of making Vlogs together. This idea is still in the works. If we do, he'll be the one editing the things and making the presentable in an awesome way. I, on the other hand, will simply say stupid things. Ha.

Well, I decided this morning that I kind of wanted to start Vlogging... and I don't really know why. It should be interesting though. I'm hoping it will help me speak more clearly...maybe.

Anyways, check out my new Channel! Enjoy! Uh... like it, subscribe to it, whatever you want. :)

(And Sara, I know, I said I would never do this...but as the cliche goes, never say never.)

"I love Greek!"

Please leave a message after the tone...

Pocket dialing. It's a problem. And one I apparently have.

I miss my flip phone because it never pulled the mutiny card and called my speed-dial contacts.

Though, these unfortunate occurrences have had some benefits.

The Monday after Easter, I accidently called Oma. (For you non-German speakers, it's my dad's mom, or my gramma.) We had an interesting game of phone tag. She called me back, but I missed the call. So, I called her, and when she answered she asked me what I needed....I told her I was just returning her call. And then I started laughing when she said that I had called her first. Strange, but it did allow for me to talk to her on the phone, something I don't normally do.

I made my dad laugh last week because I called him on accident. He didn't realize until he had a missed called. When he asked me about it, I told him I hadn't meant to call him at all. Instead of being annoyed, he just smiled and thanked me for making him chuckle. (He still has a flip phone, so does not understand how this could happen.)

Kate probably gets the worst of it. I probably pocket dial her at least once a month. (If you read this Kate, I'm sorry, I don't know why my pocket dialing skills like 5 so much.) It's always a great conversation starter. "Hey, you called me earlier, but it was just noise. I figured I was in your pocket." Yes. And then we talk about her impending wedding. (Which is really weird because she's younger than I, but I'm happy for her as well.)

Why am I thinking about this today? Because my beautiful roommate, LeAnn, called me today. And I answered, ecstatic. "LEANN!" ... "You called me, like, twice." Oh. Ha. My bad. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't dying or anything." But now we have a phone date on Saturday, at 6am. Ha. (Just kidding, I think?) I guess we'll find out if she calls me at 6am.

The stupid thing? I can hardly get my key pad to unlock when I want it to. I don't know why it is so good at unlocking when I don't want it to.

I miss my flip phone.

"TobyMac can't get to the phone, please leave a message, please leave a message!" [TrueDog]

God is bigger than the boogie man...

My brother turned seventeen last week. He's officially taller than I am. When we were younger, we used to fight like no one's business. There was hair pulling, biting, hitting, yeah, the works. We were nasty to each other... but under that level of rawness there was a deeper love that went straight to our bones, the very essence of who we were.

I used to sing to him when he was terribly scared. I would tell him everything would be okay, that Daddy would never let anything happen to us because he loved us so much. (Not that there was ever actually any danger, anyway.)

Well, on Monday I got a phone call from him. He rarely calls me... and I was watching Stargate with a friend. (Yes, every Monday I let my inner nerd out and watch my sci fi show.) It was a really intense episode emotionally, and I didn't really want to talk to him just then. But I answered anyway. He said that he was driving home from Boy Scouts. (He's almost an Eagle Scout, woo!) He also said he almost hit five animals, and that he was kind of freaked out by it.

He's always been afraid of the dark and the nightly noises. Which always reminds me of the quote "heed no nightly noises" which comes up in The Fellowship of the Ring as well as other places. I told him he would be fine. And that I needed to go. After hanging up, I almost instantly regretted it. If we had been younger, I would have sang for him, I would have sang the Veggie Tales song, "God is bigger than the boogie man" and I know it would have made him feel better.

The next night I was walking back to my room in the dark. While I wasn't actually freaked out, I was kind of bored, and cold, so I called him. He, surprisingly, answered. And he talked to me the entire way back to my dorm. He told me silly stories that made me laugh and started retelling an episode of Magnum P.I. for me. It was sweet.

I'm glad that I have him. And while I sometimes feel like I'm protecting him, I don't think he realizes how much he is protecting me. I don't think I always realize. But he is. He protects my heart from bitterness and depression. He saves me from self-loathing. I am so thankful for him and his laughter and ability to make me laugh, even when I'm royally ticked off.

Just the other day I was flipping through a notebook and found scrawled on one of the pages: "Beauty is more than skin deep. And your skin is beautiful so you've got both things going for you!" --Josef

And I found a video he had recorded on my computer over Christmas of him dancing while I was listening to music in the kitchen while baking.

I miss my Bud Nub. Desperately. He's the best little brother I could have ever asked for.

"God smiles on my little brother. His love is making me stronger. Inside and out he's better than I am." [Taylor Swift]