What kind of love is this?

I read a post on tumblr a few days ago that really struck me...a Jane Austen quote that I'm not sure I'd ever read (and if I had, I surely had forgotten it), "I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. My attachments are always excessively strong." [Northanger Abbey] Something in me responded to the idea that some people do everything halfheartedly, even love, and then I was overwhelmed by the realization that I am much like this quote--my attractions are excessively, annoyingly, strong.

While I was blow drying my hair this morning I was thinking about a conversation I want to have with someone....and how I want to tell them that I don't do things by halves. I don't do something with the heart unless I've thought it over and really felt around it--this doesn't mean that I don't get hurt, it means that I get way to involved sometimes. The point of this internal conversation was that I really do like this individual. In my mind I thought, "I am not in the business of doing things by halves...and that can be hard. But I am comforted by the knowledge that I worship a God that doesn't do things by halves either."

I worship a God that doesn't do things by halves. Who would have thought that such a moment of clarity would come when I was pummeling my ears with the sound of rushing air? There I was, still damp, blow dryer in hand, and completely overjoyed at the revelation that God doesn't do anything half way.

His love is all encompassing, and all forgiving. He is so fully committed that He sent His Son to die for my pitiful, wretched soul--so broken by sin that it seems impossible for a perfect being to love.

It occurs to me now that His full commitment makes my "no halves" thing seem really pathetic. I may think things through and really allow myself to get hurt because of it, but I don't think I would actually die to prove my devotion to another person. And then one begs the question, am I willing to die for Christ, for His good news, like He died for my soul? I hope so. I hope that if that day comes, He will give me the strength to be so completely committed.

I may not be in the business of doing things by halves...but thank God, He is definitely not in the business of doing anything halfway or incompletely. The story is still being told, and because He fulfills all His promises I can rest easy tonight knowing that He will come again and reclaim what is His. The story isn't over yet.

Just tea, thank you.

I have been driving my mom to and from work occasionally this week. On one of these trips, I noticed a building downtown called "J. Alfred Prufrock's." Having just completed a Modern Poetry course and reading "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I got really excited. I asked Mom what the building was, eager to try a coffee shop I had never been to. It's a Martini Bar, which I am not old enough to visit, nor would I.

Disappointment set in. It would have made sense for it to be a coffee bar, "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." (Eliot) I would have eagerly gone with pen and paper and spent hours writing while, "In the room the women come and go, Talking of Michelangelo."

I like coffee, specifically "froo-froo" coffee as my mom's old boss so aptly named it. It has to have a flavored creamer and at least one packet of Splenda. It's just the way I roll. 

Now, my favorite beverage (aside from Diet Coke) is Earl Grey tea. There are other teas that I will drink as well. And I will drink it hot or cold, brewed inside or out. I just love it. (With a packet of Splenda is still the best.) 

And if Prufrock can measure out his life in coffee spoons, why can't I use tea spoons? 

Not only do I enjoy tea because it tastes good, it is also a form of connection for me. See, when I drink a cup of Earl Grey with a sewing project underway or a story coming forth from my fingers I feel connected. I feel connected to my dad who enjoys cold tea, and my mom who enjoys hot tea. I feel connected to those that have influenced me: Tolkien, Lewis, Austen. I am sipping tea with Hobbits, Professor Kirke, and the Bennets. 

I hope that some day there will others who will sip tea and feel connected to me, not in relation to these Greats, but as a connector to them. 

"Can I get you some tea, or perhaps something a little stronger?" [Bilbo Baggins]