I was an adult chaperon for a church youth group this weekend. We went to Dare 2 Share in Lincoln. Now... you need to know my history with this youth conference.
The first time I was in attendance I was in sixth grade. I went every year until I was a junior in high school, I believe. That's about six years. Every year reminded me how important it is to share the love of Jesus with my peers. If something is so alive in me, I should be willing to put myself out there. D2S taught me how to effectively share my faith with my friends, family, and even strangers. It's an awesome thing.
The people of this conference believe that revival is in the younger generations. If we are going to accomplish a revival in the Church, then we must reach the teens. I couldn't agree more.
Last year I went again with a youth group from the town next to the one I attend college in. It was then that the most life changing experience happened. It was then and there that I felt God nudging me to do a form of youth ministry. I truly believe in THE Cause (the Great Commission), and I believe it will be most effective in the teens of today.
It was then that I said, "I will go, Lord. Send me!"
And He said, "Are you sure, Anna? Because if I send you, it's going to be all the way."
Yes.
Send me.
And I looked up at the stage and I thought, "Woah. Wait. You want me to be up there?"
Yes.
I'm a shy person. This is totally outside of my comfort zone, but with God I can do anything. So that's what I'm working towards.
This year (I was ecstatic when the church needed another chaperon), was just as convicting. I would like to share a few snap shots for you:
There was a little girl (probably the daughter of one of the leaders) with light-up sneakers. I hope she never loses her dancing feet. During worship she was dancing her little soul away. She was making art with her feet. I loved watching her. I want to write a poem about her, but I don't know if words can ever do her justice.
One of the girls in our group tried to share the Gospel with a stranger in the mall. He through the card she handed him in her face and told her to essentially buzz off. Those tears she cried were testimony to her boldness and willingness to stand up for her God. And while it stung, she will never forget that moment. She graduated from PU (Persecuted University) this weekend, and I am so proud of her heart.
Another of our girls called her dad. It was a very hard phone conversation, and I will continue to pray for that relationship and the conversations to come.
At dinner one of the other leaders and I sat with a boy we didn't know from a different youth group. Michael. While the boys were talking a little bit about Pokemon (is that how it's spelled) I ate. But we also got around to talking about Jesus. Michael was very clearly autistic, and did not understand why he was at D2S. So Adam talked to him about Jesus and why it was so crucial. I hope that the conversation transplanted the seed to richer soil.
I also laughed a little at Greg Stier's expense. When he was going through the GOSPEL acronym, he stumbled on 'L.' And I laughed because they have changed that letter's sentence, and I always stumble over it, even though the new version is so much clearer. I'm just glad I'm not the only one.
I could write about this a lot longer, but I will spare you.
Zane, Propaganda, and Greg talked about how our individual stories are unrivaled, and how we need to be unleashed. So I will move forward, unabashedly, and unhindered, and I will tell my unrivaled story about my unrivaled God.
"And if our God is for us, then what could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then who could stand against?" [Shane and Shane]
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
You'll See My Heart in the Saddest State It's Ever Been
I want to start writing again. And I don't mean the occasional paper for class. (And by occasional I mean biweekly.)
For my Language and Linguistics class we've been reading a lot of articles on gender/sexuality in language. It's been really interesting... and included a lot of feminist writers. Now, I'm not a feminist, not in the contemporary sense of the word, but some of the things made a lot of sense. (Some of it was also totally ridiculous, but that happens.) One of the writers talked about writing being a way of release for women. The idea is that women have been suppressed and that they are forced to use the language of men (the gender, not the race). She issues a call for women to write, but the unfortunate thing is that women still have to write in this language that has suppressed them. (Whatever, I think women get the better end of that deal, maybe I'll elaborate on that later.) The point of this massive paragraph is this: I want to write to give my heart a little release from whatever has been weighing it down.
I just finished reading "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" by Sherman Alexie. And it was really legitimate. I went in with some hesitation, expecting some white hatred or something... but that wasn't what happened it all. In fact, this may have been one of my favorite books about racial issues. But in this book the main character transfers from a reservation school to an all white school.
I feel like an Indian at a school of whites. Everyone here is connected somehow. It's crazy. And they all have stories about people they now. And I can't decide if it's dwelling on the past or if it's just a camaraderie. Either way... I feel like an outsider. I'm the non-Lutheran looking in... and yes, there are people who don't care... but there are jokes that I will never get.
In Young Adult Lit we read "The Book Thief." And we find out that the protagonist, Liesel, is Lutheran. This is what I wrote after that was announced to the class:
'Liesel is Lutheran.'
A murmur. Like these is a deep secret, a deep understanding. One I am not invited to know. A murmur. It resonates deep within my self. A murmur. A murmur.
There is a murmur in my heart.
"All along I was looking for something else, You're something else. All along I was looking for something more, You're so much more. I finally found what I could never see before. You've always been the one that I was looking for." [Remedy Drive]
For my Language and Linguistics class we've been reading a lot of articles on gender/sexuality in language. It's been really interesting... and included a lot of feminist writers. Now, I'm not a feminist, not in the contemporary sense of the word, but some of the things made a lot of sense. (Some of it was also totally ridiculous, but that happens.) One of the writers talked about writing being a way of release for women. The idea is that women have been suppressed and that they are forced to use the language of men (the gender, not the race). She issues a call for women to write, but the unfortunate thing is that women still have to write in this language that has suppressed them. (Whatever, I think women get the better end of that deal, maybe I'll elaborate on that later.) The point of this massive paragraph is this: I want to write to give my heart a little release from whatever has been weighing it down.
I just finished reading "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" by Sherman Alexie. And it was really legitimate. I went in with some hesitation, expecting some white hatred or something... but that wasn't what happened it all. In fact, this may have been one of my favorite books about racial issues. But in this book the main character transfers from a reservation school to an all white school.
I feel like an Indian at a school of whites. Everyone here is connected somehow. It's crazy. And they all have stories about people they now. And I can't decide if it's dwelling on the past or if it's just a camaraderie. Either way... I feel like an outsider. I'm the non-Lutheran looking in... and yes, there are people who don't care... but there are jokes that I will never get.
In Young Adult Lit we read "The Book Thief." And we find out that the protagonist, Liesel, is Lutheran. This is what I wrote after that was announced to the class:
'Liesel is Lutheran.'
A murmur. Like these is a deep secret, a deep understanding. One I am not invited to know. A murmur. It resonates deep within my self. A murmur. A murmur.
There is a murmur in my heart.
"All along I was looking for something else, You're something else. All along I was looking for something more, You're so much more. I finally found what I could never see before. You've always been the one that I was looking for." [Remedy Drive]
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Desperate to brush the lips of grace...
It's been a while since I posted.... A long while. I really have no excuse for this except that I've been busy with classes. Even that isn't a good reason, but it is a reason.
I've been going through a weird emotional time in my life, and I don't know what set it off, and I can't find the roots of it. At the heart of me, I feel this deep desire: "Desperate to brush the lips of grace..." and I wish I could remember what artist sang those lyrics giving me a way to explain my heart. I've been working to find out what exactly that means for me.
Last night at Praise we talked about prayer... and I realized that my prayer life right now has been suffering. It's strange, I don't even remember falling away from it.
So I'm going to start writing my prayers out again. This way is easier for me to focus on what I'm praying about instead of getting distracted by my list of anxieties. So this is good.
I'm also going to start a "Happy Box" I think. My friend Sara (who will be excited she made it into my blog again) has told me about hers. The idea behind this is to collect things that make you smile and to put them in a box so when you're feel down or sad you can look at the contents of your box and be happy. I'm pretty excited about this project.
"Winter is nearly gone. Time flows on to a spring of little hope." [Aragorn]
I've been going through a weird emotional time in my life, and I don't know what set it off, and I can't find the roots of it. At the heart of me, I feel this deep desire: "Desperate to brush the lips of grace..." and I wish I could remember what artist sang those lyrics giving me a way to explain my heart. I've been working to find out what exactly that means for me.
Last night at Praise we talked about prayer... and I realized that my prayer life right now has been suffering. It's strange, I don't even remember falling away from it.
So I'm going to start writing my prayers out again. This way is easier for me to focus on what I'm praying about instead of getting distracted by my list of anxieties. So this is good.
I'm also going to start a "Happy Box" I think. My friend Sara (who will be excited she made it into my blog again) has told me about hers. The idea behind this is to collect things that make you smile and to put them in a box so when you're feel down or sad you can look at the contents of your box and be happy. I'm pretty excited about this project.
"Winter is nearly gone. Time flows on to a spring of little hope." [Aragorn]
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Most have seen too many winters...or too few
Memories I don't want to forget:
After I had tried to push my chair in after class, and grunted when it didn't work (this was a week ago):
"What's wrong, Anna? Are you frustrated? Tired? Upset?"
"All of the above." (It had been a rough week.)
"Awe...I'm sorry."
Thank you, Austin, for being a good friend.
While sitting at Claire's dining room table this morning:
"Anna, do you want some slippers or socks?"
"No thank you, I'm good."
"Oh, that's right. You're a Mid-western girl. Sometimes I forget."
Thank you, Claire's mom. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it made me smile and realize that I am a Mid-western girl. And if that means that I'm tougher because I go bare foot, awesome. But really, it's just because I get too hot if I wear socks.
I navigated Omaha for the first time today. (It wasn't Omaha proper.) And I did it without a GPS unit because it wouldn't load the map for me. For the record, I made it to my destination going strictly from memory of what Claire's mom told me, which I hadn't really been paying attention to because I was counting on the GPS unit. And I didn't get even a little lost. Woah.
"I don't really like broccoli."
Neither do I, Claire's dad, but I ate all of mine... and I feel accomplished. And you know? It wasn't half bad.
"I thought, I could dress up for Anna."
Thanks Sara, you're so sweet, and so cute. I wish I could say that I dressed up for you and our Borders Coffee date... but I just didn't have any dry jeans, hence the skirt.
Great cream cheese frosting recipe:
1 stick of butter
1 package of cream cheese
3.75 cups of powdered sugar, sifted.
So......good. So, simple.
Watching the Lord of the Rings with Steph during the Super Bowl.... it's lovely.
"Now something is about to happen that has not happened for an age." [Treebeard, movie]
After I had tried to push my chair in after class, and grunted when it didn't work (this was a week ago):
"What's wrong, Anna? Are you frustrated? Tired? Upset?"
"All of the above." (It had been a rough week.)
"Awe...I'm sorry."
Thank you, Austin, for being a good friend.
While sitting at Claire's dining room table this morning:
"Anna, do you want some slippers or socks?"
"No thank you, I'm good."
"Oh, that's right. You're a Mid-western girl. Sometimes I forget."
Thank you, Claire's mom. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it made me smile and realize that I am a Mid-western girl. And if that means that I'm tougher because I go bare foot, awesome. But really, it's just because I get too hot if I wear socks.
I navigated Omaha for the first time today. (It wasn't Omaha proper.) And I did it without a GPS unit because it wouldn't load the map for me. For the record, I made it to my destination going strictly from memory of what Claire's mom told me, which I hadn't really been paying attention to because I was counting on the GPS unit. And I didn't get even a little lost. Woah.
"I don't really like broccoli."
Neither do I, Claire's dad, but I ate all of mine... and I feel accomplished. And you know? It wasn't half bad.
"I thought, I could dress up for Anna."
Thanks Sara, you're so sweet, and so cute. I wish I could say that I dressed up for you and our Borders Coffee date... but I just didn't have any dry jeans, hence the skirt.
Great cream cheese frosting recipe:
1 stick of butter
1 package of cream cheese
3.75 cups of powdered sugar, sifted.
So......good. So, simple.
Watching the Lord of the Rings with Steph during the Super Bowl.... it's lovely.
"Now something is about to happen that has not happened for an age." [Treebeard, movie]
Saturday, February 5, 2011
What's that smell?
Sometimes, there are things I wish I could snap pictures of. A moment in time that just seems perfect, right, comfortable. Sometimes, I wish I could capture a smell and keep it with me forever. Have you ever been somewhere and come across a smell you weren't expecting? And suddenly you're elsewhere.
Well, I'm visiting a friend's home this weekend. Her family is lovely, and they are very accommodating. (And I love her mom's style of decorating.) Beauty.
We made red velvet cupcakes (without the red) with cream cheese frosting. It was so much fun, and they turned out great. We took turns decorating the tops with the frosting and sprinkles. Her dad did the last one. Perfection.
I washed my hands in their bathroom and used their soap pump. Wild Honeysuckle. I was suddenly home with my mom, giving her a hug. It was wonderful. And I couldn't stop smelling my hands. I may just go wash my hands for the smell now. Comforting.
And I'll be meeting a friend at Borders for coffee and book perusing. The smell of coffee and books shared by good company. Simplicity.
"I spent all my childhood pretending I was off somewhere else...off with you on one of your adventures! My own adventured turned out to be quite different." [Frodo Baggins, movie]
Well, I'm visiting a friend's home this weekend. Her family is lovely, and they are very accommodating. (And I love her mom's style of decorating.) Beauty.
We made red velvet cupcakes (without the red) with cream cheese frosting. It was so much fun, and they turned out great. We took turns decorating the tops with the frosting and sprinkles. Her dad did the last one. Perfection.
I washed my hands in their bathroom and used their soap pump. Wild Honeysuckle. I was suddenly home with my mom, giving her a hug. It was wonderful. And I couldn't stop smelling my hands. I may just go wash my hands for the smell now. Comforting.
And I'll be meeting a friend at Borders for coffee and book perusing. The smell of coffee and books shared by good company. Simplicity.
"I spent all my childhood pretending I was off somewhere else...off with you on one of your adventures! My own adventured turned out to be quite different." [Frodo Baggins, movie]
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
It's still winter in my wonderland...
It's snowing! It started yesterday and isn't supposed to stop until tonight sometime....yay! (just kidding)
But, for the first time ever, all two of my classes have been canceled! yay!
So today, I fully intend to be super productive!
I started this blog this morning, and I am pleased to announce that it has in fact been a very productive day.
I did the following:
Wrote for an hour (Can I just say how absolutely relieving this was?) for my Poetry class that was canceled.
Watched a video about English in America for my Language and Linguistics class.
Worked on British Literature III homework that isn't due until Friday. (I'm working ahead? What?)
Read for Young Adult Literature. I love "The Book Thief."
Read a little for my Independent Study. I also love "The Fellowship of the Ring." (obviously)
Yeah. Woah.
And I went stir crazy, trapped in my room. I'm sure my roommate appreciated that. Ha.
We had nachos tonight in the cafeteria! They were so yummy! And then, we lost power! That was exciting.
"One angel put a flute to her lips and another started shaking her hips."
[So Elated, Angels and Shepherds]
Disclaimer: My roomie wanted me to specify that this is about Baby Jesus being born. Yeah.
But, for the first time ever, all two of my classes have been canceled! yay!
So today, I fully intend to be super productive!
I started this blog this morning, and I am pleased to announce that it has in fact been a very productive day.
I did the following:
Wrote for an hour (Can I just say how absolutely relieving this was?) for my Poetry class that was canceled.
Watched a video about English in America for my Language and Linguistics class.
Worked on British Literature III homework that isn't due until Friday. (I'm working ahead? What?)
Read for Young Adult Literature. I love "The Book Thief."
Read a little for my Independent Study. I also love "The Fellowship of the Ring." (obviously)
Yeah. Woah.
And I went stir crazy, trapped in my room. I'm sure my roommate appreciated that. Ha.
We had nachos tonight in the cafeteria! They were so yummy! And then, we lost power! That was exciting.
"One angel put a flute to her lips and another started shaking her hips."
[So Elated, Angels and Shepherds]
Disclaimer: My roomie wanted me to specify that this is about Baby Jesus being born. Yeah.
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