I don't know what's wrong with me.
Earlier today I felt very excited and I was just in a silly mood. There was no reason for it, except that the sun was shining and it was actually warm. It was starting to feel like spring.
And tonight? I just feel like... crying. But I can't. Because I don't want my roommate to think there's something wrong with me.
There has been a lot going on lately, things I can't go into detail here.
I'm just confused about what I'm supposed to be doing, and where I'm supposed to be going. I thought I had a clear vision for myself...and now I'm not so sure. Where is this doubt coming from? I'm not ready to be grown up... am I?
I'm tired of people trying to put me in a box. "You're not the only one I do ______ for." Obviously. I would never assume that kind of special treatment. I'm actually getting tired of sarcasm. I never thought that day would come.
And I'm a lot more fragile than I ever thought I was. And I don't like this mask I'm putting up; it's not very good anyway. I want to be happy and light-hearted all the time.
What a start to a new year.
"I'm not talking to you. You just confuse me when you show up." [Thomas Magnum]
I'm glad this one came up, I know exactly the kind of day (emotion wise) that you probably had. It's a little exhausting. But at the same time, I've come to kind of love them, because when I have those days, I have no one to turn to now but God and He's so amazing that it kind of makes it worth it...Can't wait to see you next week. :)
ReplyDeleteSara, thank you for the gentle reminder that I've got someone who can always hear me and understand what's going on. I can't wait to see you either! :)
ReplyDelete